i sent the article below to my fiance' just to share how much i value my being 'madly in-love' and him reciprocating that feeling (hopefully). you see, i used to feel that he was the one who got away and that i will never be happy with anyone else but him (looong story).. anyway, he called me up as soon as he read the email. apparently, i already did share the same article with him years back. i searched my files & saw that i did send him a letter with the article in june 2003. that was 4 years ago. :) it warms my heart knowing he remembers even my littlest gestures. he still surprises me after all these years.
im sharing the excerpts from the article by leah castaneda, a columnist of manila standard:
"I don't want to be sixty years old and married to my second-best choice, wondering what ever happened to the one who got away." --- "Dream for an Insomniac"
im sharing the excerpts from the article by leah castaneda, a columnist of manila standard:
"I don't want to be sixty years old and married to my second-best choice, wondering what ever happened to the one who got away." --- "Dream for an Insomniac"
This is just one of the two great lines in that movie. I'll tell you what the other one is later. Meantime, let me concentrate on this line -- the line that sends chills down your spine once you decide to spend more than five seconds thinking about it. Have you ever wondered what it must feel like married to the one you settled on? This truly gives me great feelings of anxiety. It might be difficult to accept the word "settle" because it conjures up images of quasi-happiness and half-hearted glee. Yes, there is some sort of satisfaction and perhaps, some feeling of security that can be derived from such a partnership but I wonder, could there be anything more? To settle is to ultimately accept what is within reach, what is available, what is there. To settle is to convince one's self that the decision about to be made is inevitable, realistic, and safe. To settle is to risk not ever being truly happy because one decides to adopt the worst type of bahala na attitude on life's greatest challenges. And settling is a sorry consequence of the passage of time. Yes, time can be the balm that soothes open, painful wounds in one's heart but it can also be that dark force that manipulates one's mind into thinking and believing that the choice one has made is the best choice... the only choice. What time does, and I'm sure you'll agree, is it lodges one's mind and heart in a cage with the door partly open -- with the promise of a better life losing its appeal over the reality of the present, the convenient, and the routine. Time also pressures one into selecting a suitor or spouse because 'wala nang iba' (there is no one else) and 'nagmamadali na ako' (I'm in a hurry) and there, 'puwede na rin.' (I'll make do).
The wickedness of "settling" is not one way. It also eventually hurts the one who was chosen because in all respects, the truth will surface. You no doubt realize that you just wasted each other's time and emotions. But then again, if your spouse chose you not because he or she "settled," then forget about the win-win situation you were gunning for. Sometimes, our hearts win out over our brains when our certainty over the outcome is great.
But... "Anything less than mad, passionate love is a waste of my time." I am of the belief that each person is given the chance to find his one true love as he goes about his life. Sometimes, the opportunity is not too obvious, especially for those who are content with their situation and therefore are not seeking "greener pastures." These times, the chance is often passed up. The luckier ones are those who are probably more clear-minded and in touch with their emotions because they can easily recognize what is staring them in the face. Whether this chance is passed up or not, I know that the feeling one gets when this chance is still within reach is one of certainty. Yes, it is also accompanied with feelings of danger, of risk, and of possible pain but compensating for this is that inexplicable "sureness," that sense of profound happiness that has never been derived anywhere else but from that one person who just happened to pass by in your tidy little life. Follow The Rules in your daily life but have the wisdom and the humility to recognize a gift from the heavens when it is given to you. I call true love a gift because of its rarity. It does not happen everyday. If you pass it up the first time, try not to be too arrogant to look away when it comes by the second time. You may ask me "how will I know if this is my true love?" My answer to that is this: true love is that strong, awesome feeling that scares the hell out of you but always makes you unbearably happy. It doesn't go away, no matter how much you will it to.
More than anything else, you'll know in your heart when you meet him that he is the one. He doesn't become the one the same way that soulmates do not become soulmates later in life. With him, you are damn certain that you are not settling. With him, you know that you will be sixty years old and never wondering about the one that got away because he never did..
He's right there holding your hand.
Labels: random
posted by serendipity at 12:10:00 AM